Letters To My Children | 20 Months + 36 Weeks Pregnant

Letters To My Children | 20 Months + 36 Weeks Pregnant

thursday, december 21, 2017

dear babies,

with this week bringing on two separate calls to labor + delivery and one visit to triage at the hospital, i thought it best to get a final pregnancy photo of me with my babies and write my final letter to you both before we become a family of four.  this whole week i’ve been waking up feeling as though our family could grow any day now, with these final weeks of pregnancy getting very real.  it has me both clinging onto the moments of just big sister and i, but also extremely excited to finally meet the little one who dances constantly in mama’s belly.  one thing i know for sure is that i am the luckiest mama in the entire world and i will never know how i became so blessed to be given the two of you.  i cry when i think about how lucky our family is.  i really do, ask daddy.

to my oldest:

the most beautiful thing that i hear every day is your sweet little voice.  you went from being a really timid and quiet girl, to a little girl who has lots to say.  i love that you say “mama!” when i walk into your room each morning, followed by “dada?”  and on the weekends, he comes in right behind me and you are so excited…but on the weekdays i have to remind you that he is at work but that you will see him soon.  i love how much you love us, it truly is the sweetest to hear the excitement in your voice when you say our names.

as of this morning, you are up to 33 words!  your speech teacher is utterly amazed by how many words you have picked up in such a short amount of time.  your favorite things to say are “ry ry” for riley our pup and “woof!”  you can point out just about anything and everything in our storybooks when we read and are pointing to everything around the house, these days.  it is so fun to watch you learn each day, you honestly just soak everything right in.

another thing you love right now is cherry tomatoes and talking on the phone.  every evening when daddy calls to tell us he is on his way home from work, you instantly take the phone and run away with it.  you both talk back and forth for a few minutes and it’s so sweet!  mama hasn’t had the chance to talk to daddy on the phone for quite a while, but i love hearing you both chatter back and forth.  daddy always says funny things like, “oh, mommy ate a lot of cookies today, huh!?” when you talk to him.  we have a lot of good laughs.

visiting santa claus was a little bit different this year, you were not a fan.  you have decided that he should be observed at a distance only or seen in books only.  you didn’t like it when you sat on his lap, and we have the photo to prove it!  but when we went to the north pole the next day on the train (thanks to ollie the elf), you had a fun time seeing santa when you stayed on our laps and you loved mrs. claus.  you have her high fives and loved watching the snow fall outside from the train window.  it was such a fun trip!  this weekend, you get to make a gingerbread house with daddy and oliver the elf, as one last fun activity before santa comes on christmas eve!

one of the funnest playdates we had was our christmas cookie exchange with our friends!  little did we know that it was actually a surprise baby shower for mama!  we showed up with our christmas cookies and were surprised by our friends with a really fun morning to celebrate the baby.  you got to play with your friends and mama had a wonderful time!  we are so blessed with great friends.

in these final days of just the two of us, i am soaking in every single moment.  even the moments when you throw your breakfast all over the floor.  i cherish every moment that you want to cuddle close with me and give me hugs and kisses.  everyone always comments on how sweet and loving you are, making me so excited for you to become a big sister in just days!  goodness, you are so loved and we are so proud of you.  every second of the day, we are so proud.

to my littlest:

you have given daddy and i a lot of laughs lately, as you move constantly in mama’s belly.  your sister was a mover too, but you have managed to take the cake.  you wake up every time i wake up in the middle of the night to go potty and it takes me awhile to fall back asleep because just that two seconds that i was up to potty has thrown you into a dance party.  you know exactly when i wake up in the morning, before i get out of bed.  it seems like the second i open my eyes, you are rolling around.

mama has had to call labor + delivery twice in the last 4 days, making me think that you really are going to make your entrance any time now.  at this point, daddy is constantly asking me if i am feeling okay and he picks up his phone before it rings any time that i call him.  we are in the final 28 days until your due date, meaning we are expecting you every five minutes.  we were in the hospital for a little while at the beginning of the week, monitoring you.  mama was a little nervous because you were making some spastic movements in my belly, but it turned out to be just fine.  they did a sonogram in the hospital to check on you and you scored a perfect 8 out of 8 on the test.  they said you couldn’t have done any better.  when they monitored you for over an hour on the heart monitor, they said your heart results were textbook perfect.  the nurse said that if she were to ever teach another nurse how to read a perfect heart monitor chart, she would use ours because it was fantastic and just as it should be.

the second labor + delivery call was this afternoon, with concerns that i am leaking amniotic fluid.   but it seems like it may have been a false alarm and we are just monitoring signs and symptoms at this point.  mama is hoping we don’t have to call again until it is really time, but the doctors and nurses are always so thankful that i call when i am concerned, just in case!  they always remind me that it’s better to call and chat than to miss something important, so they are so wonderful to us.  keep growing, little one!  we will have lots of time to cuddle soon but, for now, just keep eating, sleeping, growing…and kicking!

one great thing about having an emergency sonogram at 36 weeks is that it was officially confirmed that you are head down!  yay!!  we are going to have another sonogram the day after christmas to confirm again, but it looks like you are ready to go!  mama thought so, as i constantly feel your little hiccups near my tush and always feel your feet right under my ribs, on the right side.  last night, you were sunny side up and your belly was right by my belly button.  we could literally see you breathing, as we watching the rise and fall of your little chest.  it was the neatest thing we have ever seen and we loved taking turns feeling my belly and your breaths.  it was a beautiful thing to see after such a week.

at 36 weeks pregnant, mama is feeling very sore by the end of the day.  most of the day is very manageable, but the one thing that is super difficult and painful is rolling over in bed.  the doctor prefers that i sleep on my side, but rolling back and forth from side to side makes me feel like you are just going to pop out!  which makes me feel like i am on high alert all night long…it is no wonder that i don’t get much good sleep in these final weeks.  the pregnancy insomnia was very real a couple weeks ago, but it seems to have gotten better in the last week.  sometimes i read a couple pages of my book in the middle of the night, but it quickly makes me sleepy and i am relaxed again.

the three of us are just so excited to meet you!  are you a girl or are you a boy!?  mama and dada really have no clue, at this point.  all we know for sure is that we love you so much and we cannot wait to meet you so soon!  with everything that we have, we are so happy to be your parents and we can’t wait for you to meet the best big sister anyone could dream of.  i am just so ready for you to be here so we can start this new chapter as a family of four!  we love you so much!

love, mama